


Candy

by Amandathehuman



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Nooks, Oral Sex, Porn, Xeno, Xenophilia, nook worshipping, p much just oral sex, sorry - Freeform, yup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 13:06:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amandathehuman/pseuds/Amandathehuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat and John are boyfriends and fight over something stupid which makes Karkat flip from red to black. And that can be a very dangerous thing...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Candy

**Author's Note:**

> just to let you know this is POOOORN  
> PORN  
> PORN  
> PORN  
> Don't say I didn't warn you, because I did, many times. Also Xenobiology is a thing here. So I'm warning you for that too.  
> Also, the co author does not have an ao3 account but she'd misguidedingenuity on tumblr  
> http://misguidedingenuity.tumblr.com/

Your name is Karkat Vantas and your human boyfriend is possibly the most idoitic shitsponge you've ever met.

You don't remember at this point if you loved that about him or hated it.

You probably hated it. Maybe that's why you got in that fight like you did. Your temper mixed with his oblivious stupidity was just a ticking time bomb. You knew this. So did he.

It was pretty much an accepted fact between you two.

You contemplated this as you cooled down from your little...trip. And put your plan into motion.

You are Karkat Vantas and this is possibly the best idea you've ever had and no one will tell you other wise.

As you approach his room, you smirk to yourself this would definitely be worth the uncomfortable situation in your pants right now. Oh definitely. Peeking in through his doorway, there he is. Like always. Sitting at his husktop and chatting away with some douchebag. Probably Dave. You almost felt bad for the poor bastard. Disguising your expression as best you could, you took the plunge and walked in.

He turned to you and grinned only to have it falter at your expression , guessing he thought you were still mad.

"Oh hey Karkat.. Look I'm really sorry about earlier. I was being kind of a douche! But you were too so...wait that's not the point. I guess what I mean is-"

"JOHN JUST SHUT YOUR USELESS 'PIEHOLE' FOR ONCE AND COME OVER HERE FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND."

John stared at you for a good minute until he finally had the courage to get up and walk to you.  
“Uh what’s-?” you don’t let him finish that sentence as you smash your lips to his, kissing him deeply and causing him to stumble back a little but he’s kissing you back, hotly you might add. Your tongue wrestles with his and his body pressing against yours. Though you jump back as soon as you feel his pianist trained hand on your horns. John’s leaning against the desk, his face painted with a deep blush and mouth still open with his hands up in the air from holding you to him completed with the painfully obvious situation going on in the human’s pants. He’s confused. Perfect.  
“Kar..kat? What are yo-?” John pants before you, once again, cut him off by grabbing the collar of his shirt and tugging him towards his bed. You sit on it and tug the collar again to get him to your eye level. This forces John to lean over you, both hands on either side of you.  
“I thought this would be more comfortable” you coo and kiss him again, softly this time. You can feel John smile in the kiss as he presses against you, causing you to lean back until you’re lying on the bed and he’s over you.  
You can see the love in his eyes and it makes you wonder whether or not you should do this, but then you notice a hint of relief in his expression. He thinks he’s out of the doghouse, well then, let him fall into a false sense of security. John is sure to get what’s coming, both figuratively and literally.  
You don’t have time to bask in your own inventiveness once he attacks your mouth again. You tangle your fingers in the human’s windswept hair and make the tiny noises you know will encourage him. Soon he’s off your mouth and kissing your jawline, going lower to your neck and sucking on a bit of flesh where your neck meets your shoulder. He’s rewarded with a particularly loud moan on your part, it does nothing but excite him and soon your shirt is lost, having been thrown in some corner of the room. Your human boyfriend may be an idiot at times but he knows how use his hands. You’re a writhing mess under him, panting with one hand clutching at the bed sheets and the other still in John’s hair, claws occasionally ghosting the human’s scalp. You can feel his hands fumbling with the button of your pants, John eventually unfastens it and pulls it down and then…  
“Karkat?”  
“Hmn?”  
“Are you wearing panties…. Made out of candy?”  
“Maybe…” you purr, looking at John with a sly smirk planted on your face. John stares at you with an incredulous look before rolling his eyes and attempting to roll the candy panties off. “WOAH HEY!” you snap and quickly grab his wrists.  
“What?!” John yelps as he feels your claws digging into his delicate human skin.  
“They’re not coming off like that”  
“How else can they come off? That’s the only way isn’t it?” John asks, clearly confused.  
“You’re forgetting that they’re edible” you can’t stop the smirk that’s forming on your face and you wouldn’t even if you could. Because he’s looking at you with such a horrified expression you almost pity him. Almost.  
“EW. No! That’s gross Karkat, bluh, you know I hate sweets!” John looks like he’s about to turn a shade of green, you’re not too sure though since his blush is still there.  
“Fine, I’ll just take them off and stash them away for next time” John’s eyes widen with horror, staring into yours as if asking whether you’re serious or not. And you’re very serious. You’ll risk the discomfort of built up genetic material to punish John for…. For… you don’t really remember what he did and what you two were arguing about anymore but it pissed you off and that’s all that really matters to you.  
John looks back to the offending lingerie blocking him from your nook and bulge. Your bulge is already out and coating the underwear with its natural lubricant, curling in on itself. And your nook is wide open, ready to take on any bulge willing to enter. John gulps and takes a bunch of the candy into his teeth and chomps down, crushing the sweet tarts between them.  
“Now swallow” you purr, your blood pusher’s pace quickening at the sight. John glares at you and tries to spit out the candy but you let go one of John’s wrists and grab his hair, pulling it back so he can’t spit out the disgusting sugar. He whines but eventually he does swallow the candy and you let go, stroking his hair once before John goes straight for your nook. You gasp as he quickly shoves his tongue into your opening, wanting to get rid of the flavor he finds disgusting in favor of the bitter taste of your genetic material that’s leaking from your nook.  
You groan as he rubs his tongue against the walls of your nook and take quick gulps of air as you feel his hand around your bulge. He flicks his tongue in and out which has you gripping the covers of the bed, you’re moaning loudly. Your hips start rolling and both of your hands are pushing down on the back of John’s head in an attempt to push his tongue deeper inside you. But the human doesn’t like that and he tears away from your grip in order to breathe, effectively pulling John’s wonderful bulge-like tongue out of you. This makes you whine, upset that you were denied the release you were so close to. You don’t complain for long, however, because as soon as he hears your pitiful whimper, John inserts his long pianist fingers deep inside your nook and starts fingering you, thrusting in and out slowly at first. You’re reminded of why you love him and let out a joyous, and very loud, keen as you quickly roll your hips against his hand before releasing your genetic fluid.  
“I fucking love you” you gasp as you try to catch your breath.  
“For a second, I thought you hated me” John laughs, crawling to your side and flopping down beside you before he cradles you. You can feel his bulge as he holds you against himself.  
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t occasionally flip between black and re- damn it John, you didn’t get off!” you growl, unable to ignore the painfully obvious human arousal John and Dave called a ‘boner’.  
“Huh? Oh, no I didn’t, but it’ll go aw-“  
“HELL NO, FUCK THAT” you hiss as you roll over on top of your matesprit. Your nook may be spent, but your wastechute certainly is not.  
END

**Author's Note:**

> I told you dawg  
> told you it was porn  
> and that there was xeno


End file.
